Filed under: Graphic Design, My Friends, School Life, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: school, friendship
It is at this critical time in the 4th and final year of my educational career that I’ve decided to pick up my blog again. Life has been incredibly insane, incredibly busy. I’m constantly in a state of medium to high stress. But after a 3 hour nostalgia-fest over sushi with my best pals in the program, we were just astonished at how time had flew by. And pretty soon, the one thing that brought us together, and defined so much of our friendship, will be no more.
I want to archive this feeling somewhere, somehow. And this blog will have to do. Mixed in with excitement and wonder is a tiny, but unmistakable, fear and sadness. For the past 3.5 years, I know who I am; what my role is. My life is school. But in 5 months, I will have to figure everything out once again.
And I guess that’s just how life is. You get comfortable, and it’s time to move on.
I want to make a point of savouring and making the most out of this last little stretch of my 4-year program.
And in 5 months, or 5 years, I can look back and decide it was all worth it.
Filed under: My Friends, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: birthday, friends
My good friend put in perspective for me that I am now a quarter of a century old. Pretty soon I’ll have to start lying about my age. I’ve never been crazy about my own birthday. Other people’s birthdays, I can be happy about.
When I was younger, it was about how many people would show up to my birthday dinner, and how many presents I would receive. (After-all, how was I supposed to know I mattered without receiving materialistic goods wrapped in a bow?) Now it is more of a nagging reminder of how I’m supposed to be better than I was a year ago today. And how many personal achievements I have bagged for myself in the last 365 days.
In my opinion, I’ve done alright.
My parents still love me despite my impossible behaviour. My cousin is still adamant about calling me every year. And my friends still make time for me on a school night.
And that makes me feel pretty darn special.
Filed under: Graphic Design, My Friends, School Life, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: agenda, fundraising, Graphic Design, school
The first week of the last year of my schooling career has come and gone. The workload seems impossibly heavy combined with fundraising for the grad show. I’m already overwhelmed and a little bit scared. But as is with anything that scares me is I avoid it as much as I can until I absolutely cannot avoid it any longer. And then I plunge into it.
And I guess this is as good a time as any.
Like so many years before, I promised myself to be more assertive this year. Except this time, I will be.
Babies for Sale
The Jo and I have been siamese twins for the past 2 weeks trying to construct as many agendas as we can. It’s been tedious work, but at the end of the morning, I couldn’t have asked for a better teammate. It helps that we like each other.
This is probably one of the most extensive and real design projects that I’ve ever done. It was nothing short of a miracle for us to be able to make just about every design decision together.
If Joann and I had a baby, this is what it would look like:
Our babies are 20 bucks a pop. Beatrice not included. Buy them! And do what you will with them. We don’t judge.
Filed under: My Friends, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: friends, friendship, gay
Today I got a phone call, and the caller ID showed a very curious number. I picked up and it was my good pal Mildew calling me from Paris, where he’s doing his fashion design internship.
We talked about friends, relationships, school, and work. We talked about fears, insecurities, and inappropriate dreams. And we laughed. I was genuinely eager to share with him what has been happening in my life just as he was with me.
I miss how easy it is to be honest and frank with him.
It feels good to know that while we are in different places in the world, and experiencing different experiences in life, we haven’t grown apart very much, if at all.
He was still the timid, chubby 7th grader with a bunch of neurosis.
And I was still the timid, chubby 7th grader with a bunch of neurosis, who never quite realized he was all of those things.
I’m proud of his achievements of late, and I look forward to the day we live in the same city again.
Filed under: My Weekend Pillows, Photography, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: cabin, camping, Cowichan River, gay, nature
It was time for my annual camping trip with Pillows, otherwise known as a couple of days with no proper shampoo and shower.
I like the idea of camping, how you’re sleeping in the middle of a bunch of really tall trees, and you’re supposed to survive with very little luxury. And I’ve always enjoyed going camping with Pillows because I get to say that I went camping, but really I just eat, take naps, and strategically plan my bathroom breaks before dark.
The destination of our 2009 outdoor adventure was the Cowichan River Cabin.
My first instinct when I stepped inside the cabin was to reach for the light switch, because it was extremely dark even during daytime. And then I remembered: no electricity, no running water.
Having traveled for 5 hours to get to the place, we were exhausted. I wanted to just plop down and pass out for a couple hours, but the futons didn’t exactly look inviting. We inflated our air mattresses and slept on top of them in our sleeping bags instead.
To be honest, one of the very first thoughts that flashed through my mind was “how am I gonna get through the next 4 days in this very dark and slightly damp cabin?”
I would like to have been able to say that by the end I got used to the rustic charms, but the truth is it made me appreciate flush toilets and wireless internet that much more.
I am by no means an outdoorsy kinda guy, but once a year I like to pretend. And I think for a city boy like me, I do a pretty good job of roughing it.
I took baths and washed my hair in the river. No conditioner.
I cooked toast on a barbecue.
I peed in places other than a toilet.
I consider myself to be pretty self-sufficient, but I had never had to depend on Pillows more than I have on this trip.
He operated the propane lamps.
He cooked food.
He chopped wood for the fire.
He carried water from the river.
I would’ve probably cried if he left me alone in the cabin. But lucky for me, he didn’t.
Nature Hikes
We went on hikes along the river. And going on hikes with Pillows is sometimes stressful for me because he tends to like to stray from trails. Several times I wanted to turn back because I seriously feared for my life. But I pushed on because Pillows would’ve just left me there and I didn’t want to get eaten by a cougar.
And I also wouldn’t have seen this.
It was quite amazing to walk on the jagged rocks along the river and come across strong rapids and then lagoon-like spots. And being so close to these natural wonders made me feel small, and happy.
Filed under: My Friends, Resolutions, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: career, friendships, gay, Japan, life, traveling, Vancouver
It’s been a while since I feel like I’ve made a meaningful connection with a new friend. It is often that I meet new people, working in a retail environment where customers and co-workers come and go, and minute-connections are fabricated with each of them. Rarely do you come across somebody that you would genuinely want to get to know.
Meeting Yuko coincided with my budding fascination with the Japanese culture triggered by the 4 short days I had in Tokyo. I was enamoured by the elegance of their efficiency and practicality.
Yuko turns out to be a very well-travelled, law degree holder who wants to learn the English language and become an English teacher in Japan. She has been to various parts of Canada and decided on Vancouver to stay for a year. She left her friends and family, and fiancee behind to pursue her own aspirations. And I admire her courage, independence, and ambition.
Perhaps people are interesting because they choose to be.
As I’m entering into the final year of my studies, it is time to take myself off auto-pilot and make some decisions.
Yuko has been an inspiration and if I try really hard, I can see myself being almost as courageous, independent, and ambitious as she is. And that should be enough for me.
Filed under: Doses of Cynicism, Triumphs & Heartbreaks, Work Life | Tags: boss, co-workers, confrontation, manager, retail, selfishness, work
What a day.
This morning I received a card from the FFL group, and attached with it the postcard I designed for them, thanking me for the work I’ve done for them.
I thought that was really nice of them, and it made my day.
Work was a different story though.
We were extremely understaffed, and the people I worked with were complete slackers. (Ie. hour long breaks, mysterious absences, etc.)
So about 45 mins after my scheduled break, and I was still the only person manning the floor, I page my co-worker. Twice.
No reply.
I page my manager. And normally I don’t page them unless it was absolutely necessary because I assume they have more important things to do. But I figure, I don’t get paid nearly enough to be worrying about my managers feelings.
So my manager calls back and tells me to page for co-worker B in this duh-you-should’ve-thought-of-doing-this-yourself tone. And I sort of just brushed it off because this particular manager is known for being a pseudo-bitch.
I page co-worker B. Twice.
No reply.
So I page my manager again because it is now 40mins before closing.
She calls back and tells me that I’m just going to have to wait. She doesn’t know where anybody is. She’s helping a customer, and I’m just going to have to be more patient.
And that really ticked me off in a bad way.
I’m about the only employee here doing my job, letting people know when I go on breaks, being responsible, and you’re telling me to be patient?
Patient was 8:30pm when I noticed that I’m the only person on the floor and thought that half an hour later I would go on my break.
It is now an hour later, and no one’s come back. And I know for a fact that this person has gone on another extended break earlier.
And don’t tell me you’re helping a customer because I help customers and I’ve had to manage multiple tasks while helping them, and I don’t lose it.
I hate confrontations, but I will not avoid them.
So I went up to my manager after I finally had my break, and just as I was about to give her a piece of my mind, she starts to apologize.
And it really threw me off, because I was expecting her to be an ultra-bitch about it.
She said that she was really overwhelmed earlier, and she was looking for my co-workers as soon as she was done with the customer. And within that exchange, she said “sorry” at least 5 times.
I was quite grateful that she understood where I was coming from. And if she wasn’t genuine, she was really good at pretending she was. And that’s good enough for me.
I thanked her, and told her I really appreciated her talking to me about it.
And I realized maybe underneath the ultra-bitch facade, is just a slightly insensitive but kind person. And it made me a little bit happier.
My tan continues to fade, but if I try really hard, I can still remember what the Bali sun feels like on my skin. Yesterday I dreamt that I went back. And for just one more day, one hot and sunny day, I reclaimed my chair by the pool.
Filed under: Graphic Design, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: Graphic Design, internship, interview, job
I have been holding my breath for the last couple days.
One of my instructors notified our class of a summer communications design coordination position at the sustainability office at UBC. And it paid well. Very well. Jo and I jumped at the opportunity and sent off our resumes and portfolios.
Both of us got a phone call the next day for an interview.
My interview was yesterday at 9:30am, and 2 hours before Jo’s. I could barely sleep the night before. I was constantly rehearsing possible interview scenarios in my head. And on top of that was the stress of getting to the interview location at UBC.
After some circling, I found the office 10 minutes before my scheduled time.
The interview started early. There were 2 interviewers with me, and they were incredibly friendly and despite my severe interview jitters, I felt relatively at ease with them.
Most of the questions were about my work process, design experience, and interpersonal skills. 3 pages of questions and 45 minutes later, the interview was over, and I felt it went better than I could’ve imagined.
I got home, and thought I would take a nap before I headed off to work, but my brain had other plans.
The conversation we had during the interview was put on constant replay in my head. And I pretty much laid awake in bed for an hour. I finally got up feeling even more exhausted.
I woke up this morning knowing that if they were going to call, they would call before early afternoon because the job starts on Monday.
And according to the time on my cell phone, at 1:11pm, they called.
At this point I could barely contain my heart in my chest. I had imagined every possible outcome, and the best one was vibrating on my desk.
I try my best to contain my excitement, and pick up.
She says that they really liked my portfolio and design concepts.
How strange, I thought. Her voice does not match my own that’s almost giddy at this point.
She goes on to say that they have decided to give the position to another candidate that had a little bit more event coordination experience.
My heart fell to the floor.
She says that they really liked me as a person and had enjoyed the interview.
I composed myself and concealed my disappointment as much as I could.
I tell her that it was very nice of her to call, and that I had enjoyed meeting them as well.
I guess the good news is, I’m breathing again.
And that’s important.
Nonetheless, it was a valuable experience. And I’m sure one day, I will find meaning in this.
Filed under: My Weekend Pillows, Photography, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: Bali, holiday, home, Tokyo, traveling
I had such an amazing time. Short, but amazing. We spent 12 days in Bali, and then 4 in Japan. What an experience.
First, Bali
I’ve heard all about how beautiful Bali is, with its lush tropical weather. And it really was extraordinary. This was the view from our hotel room patio.
I could stay there forever.
The only downside to staying in the tropics is the abundance of insect life everywhere. Armies of carnivorous ants can be found almost anywhere. When we were worshipping the sun by the pool, I would feel slight stings on me every so often, and I’d look and there’d be an ant where it stung. At first, I thought it was my imagination. And along with Pillows, I dismissed myself.
Then when a swarm of ants came over to feast on a strip of Pillows’ sunburnt peeled skin, my suspicions were confirmed: they were trying to eat me!
Oh and we also saw this at some temple we went to.
I soaked myself in pesticides the next day.
The People
I had prepared myself for the high temperature and humidity, but no one told me about how people in Bali were so nice and hospitable. Yes, most people were trying to sell you things, be it batik sarongs, jewelry, or chess sets. But random people on the streets, even little kids, would smile at you and say “hi.”
I was so blown away. I didn’t meet one nasty person in Bali.
Our hotel was in Nusa Dua. In the area was one hotel after another, each claimed their own parts of the beach. All of them were elaborate and luxurious. It was such a stark contrast to the real world Bali: whole families on one motorbike, stray dogs roaming the streets, broken sidewalks. But even then, they seem happy. Happier than most people I see in the streets of Vancouver.
And I did the only thing I know how to make myself happy: buying things.
Shopping
Kuta and Seminyak are the shopping centrals of Bali. Even though the friendly cab drivers have all warned us about how shops in these areas were outrageously over-priced, most things were about 1/4 of the price of the same things you would find in Vancouver.
Too bad surfer shops largely dominate the district.
I was surprised to see how over-staffed each shop was. Even small boutique-like shops would have 2-3 employees at one time. And very rarely would they have more than 1 or 2 customers in the shops. We were the only customers in almost all of the shops that we went into.
Touristy Things
We dedicated a small portion of our stay in Bali to see all the tourist attraction things.
Fountain of Youth
I made sure I didn’t accidentally fall in. I’d be an infant if I were any more youthful.
Batik Making Factory
Monkey Forest
And this was the first monkey I saw. For no apparent reason, it was very angry at the woman who crossed its path. I was terrified. That was until I saw more monkeys and they seemed nonchalant about people being around them.
Rice Field
The Sun
Bali sun is like no other. Being so close to the equator, it had enabled me to summon the melanin in my skin like never before. And it’s made a believer out of me.
Bye Bye Bali
After 12 wonderful days in paradise, it was time to go.
I could really get used to the buffet breakfasts, the sun-worshipping sessions, the beach, and the room service. Oh the room service.
Onto Tokyo
I knew from the beginning that 4 days in Tokyo was not gonna be nearly enough. I just didn’t know I would come out developing this unhealthy fetish for it.
Elevator music and a soothing female voice providing instructions can be heard on the bus, in the subway station, in the restaurants, and in the elevators. There is a sort of plastic elegance to all of that.
The city seems to run itself with its robotic trains, vending machines, and multi-purpose toilets. Even the people seem to have a robotic quality to them: their ultra-politeness, their bowing, their greeting and promotional phrases when you walk past their stores.
All the signs that I couldn’t read and all the chatter that I couldn’t understand provided me with such a wonderful sense of peculiarity.
Tokyo reminded me a lot of Hong Kong, with its non-stop stimulation. Except, I like Tokyo. People seem more courteous there, or at least they do a better job of pretending.
If I’m ever courageous enough, I’d like to live there for a year or two.
Home
Exhales. It’s like I never left. Home is a funny thing. You can be anywhere in the whole world, and somehow you always go back. Traveling reminds you of all the choices you can make, all the different lives you can live.
Bali and Tokyo, I will be back one day.
