Pillows and I had our 4 year thing last week. It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole 4 years since I first met him. I remember that day like it was.. well 4 years ago. But I have good memory.
We had agreed to meet at the Tinseltown entrance across from Wild Rice, the restaurant that we were going to have dinner in. I was running late, and thought I’d call to let him know. His answering machine picked up. He had given me his home number. And that was the first time I heard his voice.
We talked about movies over a mediocre Asian fusion dinner.
After dinner, we went to Tinseltown to watch The Aristocrats. It was one of the worst docu-movies I’ve ever watched.
The date ended pretty abruptly when the movie was over. I offered to drive him home, but he declined.
And that was my very ordinary first date.
We never did go to that corn maze or go sailing for our supposed “more exciting second date.” Thinking back, we never tried very hard. We never had to.
Filed under: My Weekend Pillows, Photography, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: cabin, camping, Cowichan River, gay, nature
It was time for my annual camping trip with Pillows, otherwise known as a couple of days with no proper shampoo and shower.
I like the idea of camping, how you’re sleeping in the middle of a bunch of really tall trees, and you’re supposed to survive with very little luxury. And I’ve always enjoyed going camping with Pillows because I get to say that I went camping, but really I just eat, take naps, and strategically plan my bathroom breaks before dark.
The destination of our 2009 outdoor adventure was the Cowichan River Cabin.
My first instinct when I stepped inside the cabin was to reach for the light switch, because it was extremely dark even during daytime. And then I remembered: no electricity, no running water.
Having traveled for 5 hours to get to the place, we were exhausted. I wanted to just plop down and pass out for a couple hours, but the futons didn’t exactly look inviting. We inflated our air mattresses and slept on top of them in our sleeping bags instead.
To be honest, one of the very first thoughts that flashed through my mind was “how am I gonna get through the next 4 days in this very dark and slightly damp cabin?”
I would like to have been able to say that by the end I got used to the rustic charms, but the truth is it made me appreciate flush toilets and wireless internet that much more.
I am by no means an outdoorsy kinda guy, but once a year I like to pretend. And I think for a city boy like me, I do a pretty good job of roughing it.
I took baths and washed my hair in the river. No conditioner.
I cooked toast on a barbecue.
I peed in places other than a toilet.
I consider myself to be pretty self-sufficient, but I had never had to depend on Pillows more than I have on this trip.
He operated the propane lamps.
He cooked food.
He chopped wood for the fire.
He carried water from the river.
I would’ve probably cried if he left me alone in the cabin. But lucky for me, he didn’t.
Nature Hikes
We went on hikes along the river. And going on hikes with Pillows is sometimes stressful for me because he tends to like to stray from trails. Several times I wanted to turn back because I seriously feared for my life. But I pushed on because Pillows would’ve just left me there and I didn’t want to get eaten by a cougar.
And I also wouldn’t have seen this.
It was quite amazing to walk on the jagged rocks along the river and come across strong rapids and then lagoon-like spots. And being so close to these natural wonders made me feel small, and happy.
Filed under: Glitter & Sparkles, Graphic Design, My Weekend Pillows, Photography | Tags: emperor, empress, gay, gay bingo, Graphic Design, Japan, Photography, Smile Cafe, Vancouver
Weeks have been going by fast. Aside from my measly paid job at “Segments,” I’ve been busying myself with some graphic design side projects. The FFL non-profit group wanted me to design a postcard and pamphlet for their fundraising, as well as their summer newsletter.
I’ve done 2 out of the 3.
To be honest, they haven’t been the most exciting projects, but I am excited about having my designs printed.
Postcard:
Newsletters:
Generally I hate placing body text on a full colour photograph, but since the newsletter only has its front and back covers printed in colour, I’ve had to just make it work.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone even reads the newsletter other than the editor and myself.
Playtime
For some strange reason, I felt my weekend was drastically cut short after agreeing to stay half an hour longer at work. Despite that, I managed to enjoy a little bit of sun on Saturday.
Pillz took me out on a stroll around the DTES. Bums and crazies are really less scary than one might think. Most they do is stare.
Sunday Afternoon Delights
We had a lovely brunch at one of my favorite restaurants, Smile Cafe on Pender Street, which by the way, is no longer run by eccentric Shanghainese people. I used to love going there just to listen in on their conversations. It seems like it is now owned by 2 older gentlemen who, according to Pillz, is a gay couple. Pillz thinks everyone is gay, so that has yet to be confirmed.
And continuing my strange love addiction to all things Japanese, the emperor and empress of Japan came to visit. I was hoping they’d take me home with them.
They didn’t.
Filed under: Doses of Cynicism, Graphic Design, My Friends, My Weekend Pillows, Photography, School Life | Tags: DTE, Photography, selfishness, summer, Vancouver
It is made even more apparent that people are selfish and they mostly just look out for themselves when a large group of people congregate.
On Saturday, Pillz, his friends, and I went to the Jazz Festival. It got more crowded as it got later in the afternoon.
I sat on the edge of a narrow pathway that kept getting narrower with more and more people standing in front of it. And I was forced to witness the ugliness of human inconsideration.
People whizzing by clearing the way with their strollers. People stopping abruptly in the middle of the pathway to chat with their friends and effectively blocking anyone else from passing through.
I gritted my teeth the whole way through.
On Sunday, Pillz and I went on a nice stroll down the DTE. And I thought I’d haul out my camera from the very back of my closet and make some use of it.
The sunny weather yesterday prompted Joann and I to head out to the beach. However, the slight breeze felt more like the arctic freeze when we got to the beach. We wrapped ourselves in our beach blankets, ate our sandwiches from the Safeway Deli and left.
We then went to Calhouns and further discussed our summer project – the G DM A agenda. It is going to be an agenda tailor designed to the G DM A program. It is becoming more apparent to us that it is going to be a lot of work, but I think we’re up for the challenge.
Filed under: My Weekend Pillows, Photography, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: Bali, holiday, home, Tokyo, traveling
I had such an amazing time. Short, but amazing. We spent 12 days in Bali, and then 4 in Japan. What an experience.
First, Bali
I’ve heard all about how beautiful Bali is, with its lush tropical weather. And it really was extraordinary. This was the view from our hotel room patio.
I could stay there forever.
The only downside to staying in the tropics is the abundance of insect life everywhere. Armies of carnivorous ants can be found almost anywhere. When we were worshipping the sun by the pool, I would feel slight stings on me every so often, and I’d look and there’d be an ant where it stung. At first, I thought it was my imagination. And along with Pillows, I dismissed myself.
Then when a swarm of ants came over to feast on a strip of Pillows’ sunburnt peeled skin, my suspicions were confirmed: they were trying to eat me!
Oh and we also saw this at some temple we went to.
I soaked myself in pesticides the next day.
The People
I had prepared myself for the high temperature and humidity, but no one told me about how people in Bali were so nice and hospitable. Yes, most people were trying to sell you things, be it batik sarongs, jewelry, or chess sets. But random people on the streets, even little kids, would smile at you and say “hi.”
I was so blown away. I didn’t meet one nasty person in Bali.
Our hotel was in Nusa Dua. In the area was one hotel after another, each claimed their own parts of the beach. All of them were elaborate and luxurious. It was such a stark contrast to the real world Bali: whole families on one motorbike, stray dogs roaming the streets, broken sidewalks. But even then, they seem happy. Happier than most people I see in the streets of Vancouver.
And I did the only thing I know how to make myself happy: buying things.
Shopping
Kuta and Seminyak are the shopping centrals of Bali. Even though the friendly cab drivers have all warned us about how shops in these areas were outrageously over-priced, most things were about 1/4 of the price of the same things you would find in Vancouver.
Too bad surfer shops largely dominate the district.
I was surprised to see how over-staffed each shop was. Even small boutique-like shops would have 2-3 employees at one time. And very rarely would they have more than 1 or 2 customers in the shops. We were the only customers in almost all of the shops that we went into.
Touristy Things
We dedicated a small portion of our stay in Bali to see all the tourist attraction things.
Fountain of Youth
I made sure I didn’t accidentally fall in. I’d be an infant if I were any more youthful.
Batik Making Factory
Monkey Forest
And this was the first monkey I saw. For no apparent reason, it was very angry at the woman who crossed its path. I was terrified. That was until I saw more monkeys and they seemed nonchalant about people being around them.
Rice Field
The Sun
Bali sun is like no other. Being so close to the equator, it had enabled me to summon the melanin in my skin like never before. And it’s made a believer out of me.
Bye Bye Bali
After 12 wonderful days in paradise, it was time to go.
I could really get used to the buffet breakfasts, the sun-worshipping sessions, the beach, and the room service. Oh the room service.
Onto Tokyo
I knew from the beginning that 4 days in Tokyo was not gonna be nearly enough. I just didn’t know I would come out developing this unhealthy fetish for it.
Elevator music and a soothing female voice providing instructions can be heard on the bus, in the subway station, in the restaurants, and in the elevators. There is a sort of plastic elegance to all of that.
The city seems to run itself with its robotic trains, vending machines, and multi-purpose toilets. Even the people seem to have a robotic quality to them: their ultra-politeness, their bowing, their greeting and promotional phrases when you walk past their stores.
All the signs that I couldn’t read and all the chatter that I couldn’t understand provided me with such a wonderful sense of peculiarity.
Tokyo reminded me a lot of Hong Kong, with its non-stop stimulation. Except, I like Tokyo. People seem more courteous there, or at least they do a better job of pretending.
If I’m ever courageous enough, I’d like to live there for a year or two.
Home
Exhales. It’s like I never left. Home is a funny thing. You can be anywhere in the whole world, and somehow you always go back. Traveling reminds you of all the choices you can make, all the different lives you can live.
Bali and Tokyo, I will be back one day.
Filed under: Family Ties, My Weekend Pillows, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: coming out, gay, love
I really wish I would have a better relationship with my mother. Besides her being quite typically Chinese, she is a nice person. And I want her to be happy. Or at least not unhappy on my account. But she is.
Last night, my mom asked me if I hated her.
My answer to her was that it might not seem like it, but I don’t hate her. She asked me why I don’t talk to her, and she felt she didn’t know me anymore. I told her that we tend to argue a lot of the times we talk, and I would rather avoid the conflicts. While that’s partly true, what I really wanted to tell her was that I haven’t figured out a way to include her in my life without being completely honest with her.
And for that I’m sorry.
Maybe one day I can tell you why I don’t come home on Saturday nights. And when that day comes, all I can hope for is that you won’t hate me.
Filed under: Doses of Cynicism, My Weekend Pillows | Tags: bad sashimi, sun-tanning
The dilemma this week has been whether or not to start getting a base tan at a tanning salon before going to Bali. I have been silly in my younger days and gone to water parks with no sunscreen on. That was a lesson you only need to learn once.
In the end we didn’t go due to Pillows’ irrational fear of elevator rides with his neighbours. And I was lazy, so I didn’t really push it either.
Grove Inn Horror
We ended up having dinner at the Grove Inn on Denman Street. I have been there once for breakfast and it was alright. But really, how difficult is it to do breakfast? Apparently the restaurant has changed owners, yet again, and now they also serve Japanese food. I sort of knew that it was a bad idea to order sashimi at a restaurant that serves their sausage and egg breakfast special all day. Against better judgment, I ordered the Bento Combo A which includes chicken teriyaki, California roll, mixed tempura, and salmon and tuna and unknown fish sashimi.
I have an unsubstantiated fondness for bento boxes.
My instincts were confirmed when my meal arrived. The tuna sashimi had a nice dark pink colour on one edge and then steadily gradated to a rich brown on the other, complete with a shiny rainbow sheen. The tempura was greasy and the batter was heavy and thick.
I had the California roll and the chicken teriyaki, and I didn’t touch the rest.
Filed under: Doses of Cynicism, My Weekend Pillows, Photography | Tags: Bali, gay, gym
I have been vegging out at home for the past 2 days as the soreness in my back and arms is working its way around my upper body. I will have to remember the next time I take an 8-month hiatus from the gym to not do the same weights and repetitions as I used to. And to not go anytime before 1130pm when there are muscle dudes and dudettes whose sole purpose of being there is to intimidate skinny, and apparently gender ambiguous, Asian guys.
Other than not being able to fully extend my arms, I’m thoroughly enjoying my days without real aim or purpose. I expect next week and the week after that to be fairly busy with work and getting ready for Bali.
Yay Bali.
More pictures of Railtown and my unenthused boyfriend.
Filed under: Books, Doses of Cynicism, My Weekend Pillows, Triumphs & Heartbreaks | Tags: Mitch Albom, Sundays, Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie Schwartz, Self-help, life lessons
Sundays are depressing. They are even more depressing when I know that the next day I have school from 8-12, and then work from 2-830. And to top it off, I read the ending of Tuesdays with Morrie. Yeah, I could cry right now.
After finishing the book, I was curious to see if Morrie Schwartz’ interviews with Ted Koppel would be on Youtube. And they are. But I don’t think I can watch them right now.
The book didn’t really impact me the way I know it was supposed to. Maybe if I had read the book 5 or 7 years ago, I might have reacted to it properly. I have become more jaded than a 24 year-old should be with all the Wayne Dyers, and the Jack Canfields, and the Rhonda Byrnes of this world. I’ve conditioned myself to scoff at books that are supposed to better my emotional well-being.
Tuesdays with Morrie talks of love, relationships, life, death, and everything in between. It teaches forgiveness, compromise, and honesty. Most of which are true and well-meaning. The one thing that resonated with me the most was when he talked about social/cultural norms, and how you have to create your own sub-cultures if what’s out there doesn’t work for you.
All in all, I would say this book was worth the read.
I reject anything that is spoon-fed to me, even if it was a spoonful of truths and mantras to live by. I prefer my life lessons buried in ironic metaphors, sad stories, and regretful nights out at questionable bars.
But that’s just me.
I don’t think about it much, because most of the time I’m very happy. But the thing about being with someone who knows himself is that it is nearly impossible to coerce him into doing things that he doesn’t want to do.
Of course it doesn’t help that he was 25 when I was just a fetus in my mom’s belly. And who takes fetuses seriously? I don’t.
I consider myself to be a pretty accommodating partner in any relationship. And I find myself expecting other people to do for me what I would be willing to do for them, which I have come to realize as impractical. Often I’d feel let down.
Sometimes I wonder if I accommodate because I couldn’t care less, or if I accommodate because on some unconscious level, I deem my own needs and opinions unworthy. And I have seen this in some of my closest friends. They forego their own views and preferences to better compliment their partners. And it seems that the more they have to forego, the more drawn they are to their partners. It makes me wonder if we’re all just innately masochistic.
So in my quest for personal growth, I have come to the conclusion that either my friends and lover undervalue me, or they just operate differently than I do. And the second option doesn’t make me cry, so I’ve been sticking with that.
